Friday 24 August 2007

That Orkut is no good


This disclaimer has been added to this post since i have been bombarded with hate mail from a few christian groups, homosexual anonymous, UNILAPDA ( Universal Lap Dancers Association), St. Paedo's Brothel and a few Mary Magdalenes, Dan Brown, My Classmate and last but not the least many pissed off juniors who thought they were sweet

DISCLAIMER :- All names, places and characters mentioned in the following blog are purely pigments of my imagination.. any similarities to living or dead people, animals or trees is purely a matter of what we self proclaimed imaginative people call coincidence.. any attempt of taking me to court will only result in a detailed report of my bankruptcy

Bless me father for i have sinned.. i have broken a few commandments.. which number ?? i dunno father.. i am not too sure.. but i am absolutely certain that i broke some commandment.. and oh father i was the one who broke your window when we did that protest against the Da Vinci Code.. i threw the book away in protest when i realised that there was no sex in the book.. i mean considering Mary Magdalene was a prostitute.. there could have atleast been a lap dance as a last appetiser during the last supper..or sophie could have flashed her tits to distract 'the teacher' in that cathedral.. although it wouldn't have worked in the movie.. as the actor who played leah teabing is gay.. no i dont mean he is happy father.. although he is, what i am trying to say is..uh.. forget it..anyways.. thats not the sin i am here to confess about...

father.. i have invaded a person's privacy... but it didnt really strike me i was... no father.. i was not one of the paparazzis who took photos of the wives and girlfriends of the English footballers playing in a swimming pool in their hotel... but how did you come to know about something like that ?? oh.. divine knowledge huh... ok..now coming back to my sin father... i am a member of this online community called orkut.. no father thats not a protestant group... its not a christian community father.. it's online space where you can hang out... listen father i shall give you computer science lessons another day.. now could we please get back to my sin... listen i went through the profile of one of my juniors in college... and its like this... she is a sweet girl and all.. and the profile is open to anyone to read... and she knows that people read about it.. and she has mentioned about being committed in a relationship..that also is obvious...no father i never had romantic feelings for this girl.. but one of my friends did.. no father i dont have romantic feelings for her boyfriend, I am not gay. Oh! for heaven's sake of course i am happy.. that's not what i meant by not being gay.. oh FATHER!! PLEASE !!! I just feel guilty thats all.. what.. her boyfriend is some sort of a writer... no no not the dan brown kind... just a writer with some big newspaper... what the hell.. i 'm sorry father.. but the boyfriend or that girl has nothing to do with the sin.. it's just that i feel like i have gone through some personal diary or something.. i feel guilty of invading someone's privacy... no father i dont have CD's of the Da Vinci Code movie... oh Padre i meant PRIVACY not PIRACY... God damnit...Sorry..but you really do push it father.

Father, my grey cells suddenly got this bulb shedding light on some dark areas..your deep dark secrets could get out on this orkut... what no father not literally yours father.. the yours is used more generally here... it could be anyone.. and some other person could read it... what... no father there are no bishops from boston in orkut... although i did spot a community called St.Paedo's Brothel.... dunno if they are related.. how the hell did Boston bishops come into the picture now.. sorry.. how does it matter now... i feel like i have sinned.. now.. what do i do ??

dont ever use orkut... that's your solution... ok father thank you... and please bless me, for i am about to sin

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