Monday, 15 December 2014


I think every man has his own smell. We don't notice it much because smells mingle all together and we can't tell which is yours and which is mine, really.... All we know is that there's a foul smell and that's what we call "humanity"... I mean "the human stench"
                                                                      - Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek

Monday, 8 December 2014

A Rock & a Hard Place

Alejandro the Argentine is feeling good about tonight. Saturday night in Las Vegas and not just any Saturday night. The one over the long thanksgiving weekend. He has been in Vegas long enough to know the role that probability plays in life and tonight the odds are in his favour.

His 'American Dream', when he left Argentina nearly 20 years back, didn't feature him waiting tables at Hard Rock Cafe, Las Vegas. He was going to be happy with lots of money and a home. That dream is coming close. Next year this time he will be in Florida. Far away from the terrible tourists and the maddening click whirr ting ting ting sounds of the ubiquitous slot machines. Tonight is one of those nights that will be bringing his Florida dream closer to reality.

In a few minutes the tourists will start streaming in. Some happy with the winning, some mourning their loss but all of them drinking down their joy and sorrow. Once the drinks start to pour, he will get them to order food. Food which they don't need but food that he will get them to want. Just when they think they are done, he will seduce them with desserts. Desserts that they will order but not partake. He knows he is one of the best but for him to win it all starts with the drinking. The tipping is always good once they start drinking. 

This is going to be good night. He can feel it in his bones. He has trained the kitchen staff, threatened them in fact. "Fuck up all you want in the afternoon but the night is my time and you mess up in the night and I will mess your face!". They won't mess up tonight. He is certain.

His first customers have arrived. A party of six. Looks like they are from India. Great. They must be reveling in the freedom of the sin city, far from the conservative confines of their home. The night has begun.

"Hello, I am Alejandro and I will be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you off with some drinks?"

"One water with no ice. Please make that two. Actually, make that three. Do you have hot water by any chance?"

"Yes we do."

"Then could you please bring me some hot water. Actually, could you bring me also some hot water, cancel my water with no ice. Make that three hot water. Actually four hot water."

"So, its 4 hot waters and 2 waters with no ice. Will that be all? Any other drinks? No? No. OK. I will be right out with your waters."

Al pedo como teta de monja!