Friday 24 August 2007

A dummy's guide to football terms

Red and Yellow Cards – These are cards used for warning a player if his fouls are too violent… Red Card means automatic expulsion.. Two Yellow Cards in the same game will get the same punishment.

Offside – The simplest as well as most confusing (and controversial) rule in football that involves the striker to be behind the opponent teams player when a ball is passed forward to him by his teammate. See what I mean by being simple and confusing at the same time.

Striker - The player who gets to put the most number of goals and hence gets the most media coverage.

Midfielder – The player who plays in the middle of the football field. He can be attacking or defending depending on which part of Europe he is coming from.

Defender – The most hardworking group of players especially if you are playing Brazil. Don’t get any media coverage as they try to stop goals from being scored.

Goalkeeper – Stands before the net and prays that the ball never comes his way. Complains about the striker being offside some of the times, complains about his defender being inadequate some of the times, complains about the ball's aerodynamics all of the times.

Penalty kick - If an opponent is fouled inside the 20 yard box around your goal, then the opponent gets a penalty kick which means they get a chance at taking a shot at the goal from the penalty spot with only the goal keeper as a barrier.

Free Kick – If a player is fouled anywhere else then they get a free kick.. That is they get to kick the ball without any opponent player trying to take the ball away from them.

Dribbling – The art of kicking the ball with your legs and getting it through the opponents. Basically, it is a skill that any great player requires. Don’t tell David Beckham that though.

Weighted Pass – The perfect pass that requires the receiver only to put his foot or head on to the ball and the ball magically flies into the goal.

Header – When you strike the football with your head.

Crossbar – The bar across the top of the goal.

Upright – The posts on either side of the goal.

Corner Kick – When the ball goes out of play behind your goal and if your teammate is the last to touch the ball then your opponent gets to kick the ball in from the corner near your goal.

Metatarsal – Not a traditional football term but now pretty common after every top player in England (David Beckham in 2002, Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney in 2006) getting an injuring his metatarsal…that is basically what normal people call the TOE.

GOOOOAAAALLLL!!! – you dont need me to tell you what this is, right ??

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