That crazy little thing

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... I was in this pastry shop.. having this delicious Black Forest.. it was really only ordinary.. but its status got raised to delicious because of the fact that i didnt have to pay for it..my friend did.. and thats what made it the best of times and the worst of times.. cos now i needed to sit through a conversation with this guy... dont get me wrong.. this guy is a nice guy... who is working and i am not ( i am just trying to justify the free pastry here ).. but he has this annoying habit of complaining about his relationship to me.. and in all modesty I confess... I am the worst thing that has happened to relationships.. and the brave, noble girl(s) who have had to face the ignominy of being in a relationship with me will bear testimony to that... The moral of the story.. buy me all the pastries you want and i will be grateful to you for the rest of my life.. but please dont take me for a friend in need.. Indeed all i need is the Black Forest

If any budding film maker or ace director gets inspired to make a film based on this post.. please pay attention to details that i am adding in BOLD

Queen song :- "RADIO GA-GA" playing in the background

This guy starts asking me questions.. and i answer.. the pastry is brilliant, why wouldnt it be... my parents are fine.. college is ok, going on.....

The questions stop... he is waiting.. i am not going to ask you dude.. no way am i going to ask you...

After waiting for a minute ( it could have been longer.. cos i lost count of time trying to deftly maneuvre a cherry on to my spoon ) he started... She is really getting on my nerves..

As innocently as Oliver Twist asking for a little more gruel i ask The cherry ??

What cherry.. no you idiot BLANK

God damn it.. thats it i am no longer coming out for free cake.. i hate the conversation obligation.. thats what i am saying in my mind.. but my mouth choses to disobey my brain and out comes the words... What did BLANK do now ??

She is so irritating.. you wont believe what she did.. she went out swimming with her ex-boyfriend..

So what.. its only her ex na.. you are her present da.. and come on.. if she was doing anything hanky panky. why would she tell you she went swimming with her ex bf.. unless she wants you to be her ex and make the ex her present

"RADIO GA-GA" ends... "SOMEBODY TO LOVE" begins

She didnt tell me at first.. she only told me about it when i playfully teased her with that guy

Now you know what kind of a guy i am dealing with.. here is this idiot who teases his girlfriend with her ex.. Why would anyone want to do that... But my mouth as you must have guessed by now did not listen to my brain.. and instead asked.. Did you ask her why she didnt tell you before

Yes i did.. thats what is pissing me off the most.. the reason why she didnt tell me was 'because you never asked' thats what she says.. she says i never asked so she didnt tell me.. that female tells me about her friends when i dont ask.. tells me about her family when i dont ask... tells me about....

ok ok dude i get the point.. you are angry that she tells you all this.. you prefer she doesnt tell you anything is it.. i agree with you..

NO YOU IDIOT.. I want her to tell me everything. i cant believe i had to come and talk to you out of all the people... you relationship-challenged nincompoop.. Waiter get us chocolate truffle

Ok there is a limit to the insults i would take.. but thanks to the truffle he didnt yet reach the limit So you think she doesnt trust you enough is it ??

I just dont understand why she couldnt have told me then.. i mean i would have got angry but i am sure i wouldnt be as angry as i am now...

The lesser of two angers... why do i get myself into all this ??? the waiter brings the Chocolate Truffle to answer that question... Ok.. So you dont like getting news late.. you have this congenital aversion to news that are a week old..

There is nothing wrong with my genitals

No no.. what i was trying to say is... that you dont like old news..

Its not old news... I dunno what it is..

Ok you dont like the ex seeing BLANK in her swimming costume..

Hell i never even thought of that

OH OH Sriharikota we have a problem... Hey i was just joking dude.. come on every girl would have been in swim suits there And from what i have seen of BLANK... I HOPE THERE WERE OTHER GIRLS..

Ya i guess you are right... but i still feel like i have been wronged

Just break up with her dude...

I can't

Why did you lose a bet Why da ??

Becasuse I love her da.. I love BLANK

Freddie Mercury starts crooning "CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE"

P.S. - All names have been blanked to avoid legal haggles.. as i have this chronic fear of the words 'your' and 'honour' when they come in that order.