In an India far far away ???

You heard about the Congress's manifesto... they have announced a quota for left handers... left handers get 25% reservation in train tickets..

You have to be kidding.. but why left handers.. why not right handers..

Stupid fellow.. dont you know anything about Politics... Left handers are the minority.. and Politics is all about the minority... when they vote.. the parties get a majority

Oh ?? What have the other parties done to woo the minority who make the majority..

The BJP have announced some package for old people.. old people who are in their death bed get free medical treatment... Apparently this was one of their founding father's dreams... But he surprisingly lost the following election in the early part of the 21st century.. BJP claim that the ballot boxes were shining too much and this blinded the voters and hence they pressed the wrong buttons..

But this Medical sop will be very good for politicians na.. they all have such long lives... Even in the early twentieth century when the average life expectancy in our country was only in the 40's or so.. These guys lived to such ripe ages

Thats the only thing that these guys are above average in... Only the good die young.. you know the Left are still riding on their Anti-US stand.. Their main promise is to increase the number of states in India to 51... that way India will have more states then U.S.. and hence we will be better than them.. atleast thats what they think
Oh dont we already have more than 51 states...

No no.. we had only 48 states and 18 Union Territories... the Left just dont see things right... i tell you... I had always been a supporter of some of the ideals of Communism... Karl Marx must be tired of all the turning around he does in his grave thanks to the antics the Left parties pull... Did you know they actually opposed the introduction of computers in governance during the 1970's.. Saying that it will cause unemployment... It was only during the Emergency that computers could be introduced... That's what India needs... A dictatorship

Oh come on.. everyone knows that the emergency was a nightmare... And so was Hitler... Mussolini... Saddam....Idi Amin... the list is endless...No dictator has really done any good so far

You are right... Let me alter what i said... What India needs is me as her dictator.. Hey where you going ??

I am going to start learning to do things left handed... should make my family learn too... Who wants to be a part of the majority... when you can be a part of the minority.....

Certainly not Dickens

May i come in, Mr. President ??

Hay Come on in Corndee... how ya doing

Mr. President, I need to discuss the Lebanon-Israel issue with you...

What is it Corndee ?

Well Mr. President.. its pretty serious

C'mon you can always tell me.. Wassup Corndee ??

Somehow I cant get myself to discuss something as grave and serious as the Lebanon-Israel war with a 50 year old jumping on a pogo stick...

Oh Corndee.. I am so sorry.. you wanna play too huh... ok.. wait i shall give it to you

No thats not what i meant Mr. President.. it would be better if you could put that away until i finish talking to you

Why are you so formal with me Corndee... Mr.President it seems... call me Georgey Porgey...

Oh hell... This is very serious Mr.President... Israel are alienating themselves from the rest of the world by continuing with the bombing and capturing of Lebanon.. Too many innocent people are dying and you want me to call you Georgey Porgey

What is this Lebanon thing... I thought they were at war with a country called Hisballah.. where did Lebanon come from ??

Didnt the vice-president brief you at all ?? how can you be so ignorant..

Its hereditary Corndee... I think i got it from my dad..

Oh hell Mr. President... What is the matter with you... Cant you atleast read the papers

Hey relax Corndee.. you seem to be really tense... Shall i give you a massage...I gave one to Angela Merkel recently..

Yeah.. and she grimaced.. and they splashed it all over the media...

I wonder why women don't like my massage... Dick seems to like it a lot... He once got so invigorated by my massage that he went out and shot someone

Ya and that ended up as a field day for the press...

Well.. it's not my fault... i thought he was going to shoot some animal

Anyway.. Mr.President.. I think we should give a stern warning to Israel...

You do.. well let me ask Dick...

OH C'MON MR.PRESIDENT.. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK HAVE TO ASK THE VICE-PRESIDENT TO TAKE YOUR DECISIONS

Well Corndee... He has more brains than me.. My Pop always told me always do what the man with more brains tell ya... and he was my boss when i was working ...

He was Mr.President.. not is

Ok Corndee... but he still very smart

Great, now your english is getting screwed...

Corndee.. you are the one who is screwed up.. my english is in tune with the times... the worse your english is the more you get elected.. as the people look at you as being one among them

Ok Mr.President... now what about Israel

Well let me ask Dick..

Well your Dick happens to be fond of Jews

Hey even i like juice.. especially papaya...

Oh Christ.. Mr.President you really need to do something about your general knowledge..

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you really need to do something about you English

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you really should stop talking in public

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you have to stop saying 'Well let me ask Dick'

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President.. I resign

Well let me ask Dick..

Fools rush in where Angels fear to thread

The title of this post does not refer to the quote made by Alexander Pope ( or was it a Pope or was it Alexander the great...i am not so sure)...of course the original quote was tread not thread, but i wonder if that really makes a difference to the final meaning.

It refers to the words of Shibu Soren when he first saw his toilet at Tihar Jail..not for him the subtle difference between tread and thread. After he spoke these famous words..he squatted down to business..when suddenly he was struck with a brain wave.. It often happens when you are so caught in the stress and strain of the moment that BANG you get a brain wave... dropping all pressing matters... he got up to business and made a call.

The call was to his new secretary, Shyam Babu, for he had killed his old secretary and that's why he was in jail in the first place. Shyam Babu was not from Jharkand, he was from Bihar. Shyam Babu, a bihari babu, was the brother of Ram Babu and son of Mahesh Babu (not the Telugu Superstar who has acted in blockbusters like Pokiri and Okkadu) and he resembled the other Telugu superstar - Mohan Babu.

The conversation between Shibuji and Shyam Babu revolved around Shibuji's political comeback and was in chaste Bhojpuri spoken with a thick Jharkandi and Bihari accent. The accent can be seen in superstar Shakila's latest Malayalam film - The Guns of Kumarakom.

Shibuji had plotted his political comeback right upto him becoming the PM of India, riding on the popularity wave which he would surely get after he won the Nobel Peace Prize for reducing Delhi's crime rate thanks to the punishment he had devised..all crimes be them big or small will have one sentence...that of the guilty having to clean the toilets of the victim.. if the Govt. was the victim then the public toilets would get cleaned..Shibuji had surely hit the jackpot. Shibuji wanted Shyam Babu to convey his idea in Parliament.
After giving his orders and putting down the phone, Shibuji started to eat Papayas and drink lots of water to regain the urge in his bowels which he inexplicably lost over the course of the conversation.

After getting his orders and putting down the phone, Shyam Babu quickly got dressed to rush to Parliament. He was ecstatic. He would be getting the Nobel Prize for Peace cos in Parliament he would claim that Shibuji's idea was his own. Ha ha ha. He would become President of India and deny mercy to Shibu Soren. With this thought, he started getting into the car when..BANG!BANG!BANG!

Three shots...three shots is all that it took to end the life of Shyam Babu,the brother of Ram Babu and son of Mahesh Babu (not the Telugu Superstar who has acted in blockbusters like Pokiri and Okkadu). The deed was done by Shibu Soren's first born son, Robert Jefferson Francis Winchester III ( Guddu to friends ). The reason...he missed his dad and wanted to give daddy company in Tihar...what a man ! what a son !

Guddu's happiness on seeing his father vanished when he saw the toilets of Tihar Jail.. Shibuji pacified his son telling him that fools rush in, where angels fear to thread. But the subtle difference between thread and tread will not be lost on a man named Robert Jefferson Francis Winchester III ( Guddu to friends ) but he didnt dare cross his father..so he just acknowledged the quote and got down to business..

Shibuji's happiness on seeing his son vanished when he found out the crime with which Guddu had been charged...but his anger abated when he realised that he had a new secretary by the name of Mallika Sherawat...

MORAL OF THE STORY - "When you take a bath with a bunch of naked men and your bar of soap falls down...don't bend down !!!"