In an India far far away ???

You heard about the Congress's manifesto... they have announced a quota for left handers... left handers get 25% reservation in train tickets..

You have to be kidding.. but why left handers.. why not right handers..

Stupid fellow.. dont you know anything about Politics... Left handers are the minority.. and Politics is all about the minority... when they vote.. the parties get a majority

Oh ?? What have the other parties done to woo the minority who make the majority..

The BJP have announced some package for old people.. old people who are in their death bed get free medical treatment... Apparently this was one of their founding father's dreams... But he surprisingly lost the following election in the early part of the 21st century.. BJP claim that the ballot boxes were shining too much and this blinded the voters and hence they pressed the wrong buttons..

But this Medical sop will be very good for politicians na.. they all have such long lives... Even in the early twentieth century when the average life expectancy in our country was only in the 40's or so.. These guys lived to such ripe ages

Thats the only thing that these guys are above average in... Only the good die young.. you know the Left are still riding on their Anti-US stand.. Their main promise is to increase the number of states in India to 51... that way India will have more states then U.S.. and hence we will be better than them.. atleast thats what they think
Oh dont we already have more than 51 states...

No no.. we had only 48 states and 18 Union Territories... the Left just dont see things right... i tell you... I had always been a supporter of some of the ideals of Communism... Karl Marx must be tired of all the turning around he does in his grave thanks to the antics the Left parties pull... Did you know they actually opposed the introduction of computers in governance during the 1970's.. Saying that it will cause unemployment... It was only during the Emergency that computers could be introduced... That's what India needs... A dictatorship

Oh come on.. everyone knows that the emergency was a nightmare... And so was Hitler... Mussolini... Saddam....Idi Amin... the list is endless...No dictator has really done any good so far

You are right... Let me alter what i said... What India needs is me as her dictator.. Hey where you going ??

I am going to start learning to do things left handed... should make my family learn too... Who wants to be a part of the majority... when you can be a part of the minority.....

638 ways to kill Fidel Castro

The title of this post is also the title of a book that is to be published sometime soon..The author: none other than the man who was paid to keep Fidel alive.. Fabian Escalante..I aint too sure if the U.S.A actually tried to bump off the man 638 times... but i am sure no one doubts that the number is over twenty atleast... But Fidel still lives... and the man is Eighty... recovering from a surgery to his intestine..

Before i continue writing about Fidel and Cuba... i must confess... i do have Leftist sympathies.. but that dont make me a Communist.. and i am quoting a very wise man when i say this - " the very basis of communism is built around individuals not possessing more than what they need.. .this goes completely against human behaviour.. We all want more than what we have.." I second this opinion.. but i have always leaned towards the Left... Although i got really pissed when i found out that no fruit stall in Kolkata ( the capital of the state of West Bengal in India, which has a Communist Government for more than 3 decades) sold apples... Its not like i am overtly fond of apples.. just so happened that i needed one urgently at that point of time and couldnt find it anywhere.. reason the fruit sellers say - "NO ONE BUYS APPLES HERE".. i still blame the Communists for this.... For making me walk many kilometres in search of apples that were never there...

I wonder if the CIA ever poisoned Castro's apples.. but i guess they wouldnt have succeeded... but what amazedme and inspired me to write this post was one simple fact... The distance between Havana and Florida :- 90 miles... The distance between U.S.A and Afghanistan :- more than 6000 miles... Successive U.S governments have not been able to do anything to dislodge the Cuban Govenrnment under Fidel.. This small island led by a very big man has fought on.. and most importantly.. they have won...

The article that made me write this post ended with this joke which does the rounds in Cuba... A man once presented Fidel Castro a Galapagos Turtle ( or was it Tortoise) he said the turtle would live upto hundred years... and Fidel says..

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH PETS... JUST WHEN YOU GET ATTACHED TO THEM THEY DIE ON YOU

Certainly not Dickens

May i come in, Mr. President ??

Hay Come on in Corndee... how ya doing

Mr. President, I need to discuss the Lebanon-Israel issue with you...

What is it Corndee ?

Well Mr. President.. its pretty serious

C'mon you can always tell me.. Wassup Corndee ??

Somehow I cant get myself to discuss something as grave and serious as the Lebanon-Israel war with a 50 year old jumping on a pogo stick...

Oh Corndee.. I am so sorry.. you wanna play too huh... ok.. wait i shall give it to you

No thats not what i meant Mr. President.. it would be better if you could put that away until i finish talking to you

Why are you so formal with me Corndee... Mr.President it seems... call me Georgey Porgey...

Oh hell... This is very serious Mr.President... Israel are alienating themselves from the rest of the world by continuing with the bombing and capturing of Lebanon.. Too many innocent people are dying and you want me to call you Georgey Porgey

What is this Lebanon thing... I thought they were at war with a country called Hisballah.. where did Lebanon come from ??

Didnt the vice-president brief you at all ?? how can you be so ignorant..

Its hereditary Corndee... I think i got it from my dad..

Oh hell Mr. President... What is the matter with you... Cant you atleast read the papers

Hey relax Corndee.. you seem to be really tense... Shall i give you a massage...I gave one to Angela Merkel recently..

Yeah.. and she grimaced.. and they splashed it all over the media...

I wonder why women don't like my massage... Dick seems to like it a lot... He once got so invigorated by my massage that he went out and shot someone

Ya and that ended up as a field day for the press...

Well.. it's not my fault... i thought he was going to shoot some animal

Anyway.. Mr.President.. I think we should give a stern warning to Israel...

You do.. well let me ask Dick...

OH C'MON MR.PRESIDENT.. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK HAVE TO ASK THE VICE-PRESIDENT TO TAKE YOUR DECISIONS

Well Corndee... He has more brains than me.. My Pop always told me always do what the man with more brains tell ya... and he was my boss when i was working ...

He was Mr.President.. not is

Ok Corndee... but he still very smart

Great, now your english is getting screwed...

Corndee.. you are the one who is screwed up.. my english is in tune with the times... the worse your english is the more you get elected.. as the people look at you as being one among them

Ok Mr.President... now what about Israel

Well let me ask Dick..

Well your Dick happens to be fond of Jews

Hey even i like juice.. especially papaya...

Oh Christ.. Mr.President you really need to do something about your general knowledge..

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you really need to do something about you English

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you really should stop talking in public

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President you have to stop saying 'Well let me ask Dick'

Well let me ask Dick..

Mr.President.. I resign

Well let me ask Dick..