Wednesday, 25 July 2012

On the search for a Goddess in God's own country.

She. With freshly washed, moist tresses glistening with the shine of coconut oil. Fair in complexion, a pearly white smile adorning her face. A small stroke of sandalwood paste smeared across her forehead and the hint more sandalwood peeping out of her neck. She. The one with the golden bordered ivory coloured blouse and pavada (a long skirt for the uninitiated) or, on those special occasions, if one gets especially lucky  dressed in traditional white saree with the gold border blouse. She. A divine vision!

A vision that has been sighted more often in the recent past. Thanks to e-mail forwards from gratification starved male IT friends seeking divine intervention in their daily mundane routines.

A weekend trip to Kerala beckoned and it had all the likely sighting spots conveniently ticked off. The largest city in Kerala, the famous backwaters, a houseboat ride, an unplanned halt at a toddy shop (maybe not quite the best spot for a goddess to appear), temples and last but not the least - a traditional Malayali Nair wedding. I was quietly confident that this trip to Kerala should help me see the Goddess in all her glory. My trips to Kerala in the more recent past has been restricted to jaunts in forests, where one finds it hard to spot tigers and other animals. Forget goddesses.


The search started off on an auspicious enough note - Ambalapuzha Temple. The temple had enough and more to keep a tourist interested. Traditional architecture and truck loads of legends and myths associated with it. A poet who changed the course of Malayalam literature and culture.  A legendary Payasam, which suppposedly - as most of these legends tend to be - tasted a lot better and cost a lot lesser when my parents were my age. Nothing tastes better than nostalgia.


The temple even has a rather auspicious annual food fight. One of those days many years back, the lord decided to leave his sanctum and start serving food to the people in the dining hall of the temple. When someone spotted the God (a version of Krishna) serving he started chasing him. This led to much chaos in the dining hall and in order to keep that memory alive they decided to have an annual food fight. (Watch from 1:50 of the video below to see what I mean)


Note to self - Make sure to try to come to the temple in the night the next time around. The view of the temple from across the temple tank is brilliant. The vision of the temple's reflection on the water body, all lit up with oil wicks, should be a sight worth seeing.

Temple visit check. No divine sightings. No complaints. There has to be a goddess in the backwaters. A mermaid to attract the tourists. There has to be. Right? Wrong. What there is though is houseboats. A whole bloody lot of them. I am certain that the below image has been photo-shopped brilliantly and the 10 other boats have been removed with studied expertise!


But the area is beautiful. Allepey-Kuttanad-Cochin, the entire stretch of backwaters is well, for the lack of a better word, beautiful! National Geographic, I am fairly certain, has better coverage given to the backwaters of Kerala so i just decide to continue my search for my goddess. But the boat man decides to halt at a small little Devi temple instead and I get this sneaky suspicion that the boat man is a cynical mind reader!

The Devi in the temple has got herself a great view of the backwaters and her back is to a sprawling cultivation of paddy. Such agriculture, I am told, is extremely hard given the excess water and its saline content. The native Malayali, proud of his literate self, mentions in pride that such agriculture is a rarity in the world and its only in Netherlands one would see its likes.

Note to self - check out more than just the agriculture if  you ever happen to go to Holland!

The houseboat ride comes with traditional Kerala cuisine. Fish curry and Kappa, Karimeen Porichathu, Avial, red rice, chicken curry and a whole lot more. But we still weren't satiated and this idyllic toddy shop beckoned. The shop, or 'shaapu' as the native speaker refers to it, has a picture perfect location. The toddy tastes like a sweet lassi gone bad but the food that accompanies it is as fresh as fresh can be. Mussels stir fried with an extraordinarily generous amount of red chilli powder, coconut and shallots. Prawns that are so fresh that you can taste the happiness that they felt while crawling around in the depths of the backwaters an hour back. In god's own country, the non-vegetarian's idea of heaven is just a toddy shop away.

Weddings could and should be filled with goddesses. But that only happens when the wedding is not happening in your family. Which, in my humble opinion, is a good thing. One wouldn't want to be appreciating (or ogling, call it what you may) the divine beauty of some distant cousin you last saw as a 7 year old in pink frocks some 15 years back.

The rest of the trip was time spent with family and it struck me that the entire itinerary was wrong. The next time I am in Kerala the trip should begin with an extensive and exhaustive lunch at a toddy shop!

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

TV and the Holy Indian Family Communion

It took a brand new, recently occupied, neatly furnished – nice dining table, modular kitchen, shelves, fancy sanitaryware - 3 BHK flat in Goregaon (E) to make me realise what, for me, makes a house a home. Well… the house didn’t have a TV… Yeah, I do miss my mom and all that jazz but I still vote for the TV!

The truth is no self-respecting middle class Indian family bonds over the dinner table. Not for us… the what happened at work today honey? Did you know what happened in Science class today? Dinner Talk is matter of fact, military order like - eat more curd, don’t eat so much papadam you will stink up the place! Over the course of time the conversation becomes perfected that it transcends words and sentences and ascends to grumbles and nose pointing… where you point at dishes with your nose cos your right hand is busy stuffing food into your mouth and your left hand is busy with the remote.

My family and I have had some good times with our TV… childhood was restricted to weekend morning cartoons and the Hindu myths of Mahabharat, Ramayan et al and of course the big daddy of family bonding – Sunday evening movie. Most of the times, if not all the time, the movie was some shitty silver jubilee from the times my grandmother’s grandmother was a doe eyed teenager. A smattering of glamour thanks to Oliyum Oliyum and Chitrahaar and then the introduction to adulthood thanks to Junoon which later got dubbed into Tamil as Pidivaadam, probably the brain child of the then Chennai DD Director who could have been trying to get into the good books of the Dravidians and ensuring that he won’t get transferred again.

But the DD days didn’t see any dialogues amongst my family. Yeah, most of us did spend a lot of time in front of the TV during the shows mentioned above… but we just sat and watched… no questions raised, no concerns arose. For that the credit goes to Cable TV.

The arrival of cable and an episode of Baywatch featuring sharks gave my father and his 9 and 5 year old sons a common show to watch and it gave my mother a reason to rant. To her, mouth to mouth CPR was just kissing and she was shocked that it was coming on the box that had previously shown the pious and most definitely fictional, relationship of Rama and Sita. The orange sari had changed to bright red swim suits and girls in underwear. That episode also heralded a new word in my vocabulary – bikini.

Fall Guy, Manimal, Wonder Years, Doogie Howser, MASH… all great shows… ok fine Manimal was not a great show, it was a terrible show in fact… but the rest were super shows… but my mom didn’t particularly like them… too much kissing amongst the kids in the US I tell you. It wasn’t until Small Wonder came along that my mom finally trusted cable TV channels… all it took was Tiffany Brissette, not sure if the name or the spelling is right, and her sand paper voice to get my mom to bless our TV watching habits.
Small Wonder led to Home Improvement which later led on to Friends and got my folks questioning the content of TV again… but thankfully sports came along to ease the distrust, especially considering neither of my parents were sports fans.

I am going to end this rather disjointed and indifferent post with the memory of my mother waking me up at 11 pm, rather late for a school night, to ensure that I watch Sachin’s heroics amidst the sandstorm in Sharjah… no wait, maybe I will end with the memory of my dad jumping up from his sofa on seeing Hakkinen’s miracle overtaking manoeuvre at the Hungaroring, or was it Spa Francorchamps… the one where he overtook Schumacher by going around Zonta… no I think the best moment was my mother congratulating me after Pete Sampras won the 1999 Wimbledon by beating Agassi in straight sets… some match that… I bunked my second IIT entrance training class to watch this match and I decided not to pursue IIT during the course of the match, not like I had much of a chance anyways… the funny thing is my mom, like many middle class Indian moms, dreamed of me getting into IIT and for her to have this huge smile on her face and come and celebrate Pete’s win… I tell you, there is nothing like a TV to bring a family closer together!

Saturday, 1 January 2011

2010 - Retrospective Tag Cloud

Bartending, tennis, yoga, flop attempt at JAM, Sherlock Holmes, issues, contemplating to run, deciding not to run, Parents come to Blore, Awesome VTV songs, proposer of SAC members, yearbook work, Rangmanch, purchase @MARS, Publi head, playing God, hostel allocation, SIGMA ban, and C block it is, end terms, convocation, yearbook release, summer internship, mumbai, goregaon, matunga road, kings circle, wadala aunty and her 3 dogs, belle ville, Mak as roomie, ayyapa's dosa, amba bhavan's coffee, Mani's lunch home, Koolhar Irani cafe, Paan at Chowpatty, marine drive, shivaji park, jackfruit idly, arya bhavan, How to train a Dragon, Iron-Man 2, Housefull SUCKS!, sea-link, CST, Bade Miya, Bagdadis, Gokul Bar, Delhi Darbar, Freshers Meet, Haji Ali, Juice Center, Mahalakshmi, Not so Anusmaran, Bro lands in Mumbai, a namesake Marathi joint, Charni Road, Kulfi, Crystal Hotel, Cafe Britannia, Chor Bazaar, Summer ends, Brief stop at Chennai, Marina Beach emotional pangs, starting to betray, start of the year MARS work, C-002, arrival of PGP1s, talks ending in other's tears, completing betrayal, MARS presentation, club recruitments, poker nights @MARS, night outs, campus walks, car dents (DAMNIT!), Inception Rocks, bubble bursting while swinging, birthday pangs, not so over rated one-liner, finding clarity and betraying Kuttaapi, Chennai car ride and nearly killing Choi, Mofa's tee, ovation for social media campaign framework, terrible 4th term ends, Kutaapi's World History, Mettur, Great Ooty-Kotagiri-Coonoor trip, 5th term begins, C&H from Badra, 12 hr bus ride standing via Hosur, Salem, Trichi and finally to Thanjavur, Kumaran weds, Balaji gets engaged, coke and pepsi, arrangements & tests, the letter with grammatical errors, Skype, War Room & Anand Mahindra, Cochin trip, lady poets, Fin courses, Summer Placements of PGP1s, Unmaad work starts, GOA!!! BRILLIANT!!!, Gajaa weds :), Hard Disk stolen from room :(, Shirt from HK, Ludovico Einaudi discovery, waiting... staying up... watching Modern Family, Unmaad Publi progress and disappointments, ACF and Pricing Strategy blues, Media space vs. Marketing Function, New Years Eve L-Square and Unmaad Work, 2011 beckons...

Monday, 18 October 2010

Blog filler slash facebook conversation

U: well... something is better than nothing ...

V: I am not quite sure if something is always better than nothing da... let us take the example of a sanitation worker in the Indian Railways. he must be praying for days when there is nothing to clean... catch my drift here.

U: haha ... well true but if he has nothing to clean for a long time he'll lose his job ;)

V: Hmmm... point that!

Monday, 6 September 2010

Bengaluru-Chennai Road Trip - In Conversations!

20:37 Hrs - What’s in a name? @ IIM-B campus

V: We have to call the car something, like a term of endearment

P: Champa...

V: Come on! Some nice girly name...

L: What are you guys talking about?

V: Giving some nice name to the car man

L: Which Car?

P: (in an orgasmic tone) Champaaaaahhh

V: No no... hmmm... ok how about Choi... the registration number is CH-01... kinda reads like Choi na!

P: Choi... sounds Chinese! Wokay with me!

L: You guys are serious about this aren’t you!

21:15 Hrs – When do I get to drive? @ Hosur Road

V: Hey P., when do I get to drive?

P: When you reach home and get to sleep and start dreaming.

V: Hey come on, you can’t be driving the whole journey!

P: Watch me!

L: (grins wide)

22:37 Hrs – Nice Cuppa! @A2B 17 Kms from Hosur

P: That’s some nice coffee I say! Let me buy myself one!

V: (angry with P. for drinking half of his) hmmm, ya I know!

P: (comes back in shock) Shit man, the Coffee costs 20 bucks! Crazy!

L: (grins wide)

00:07 Hrs – Chicken Run @ some toll gate after Krishnagiri on Blr-Chn Highway

P: Look at all those chickens on that truck, man!

L: They know they are going to get killed!

V: Naaa! They don’t have that sense right!

L: Whats there to have sense! They just see one being taken and killed. Its not that hard to figure out that you are going to be next soon.

P: (in an orgasmic tone) have you seen how they are killed?

V: Ya I have and I dont see what the big deal is!

P: It’s not right! There should be a more humane way to it!

L: A more humane way to kill?!?

00:10 Hrs – License to Drive @ some place 3 mins after some toll gate after Krishnagiri on Blr-Chn Highway

P: Ok V., Lets see how u drive now!

V: Ah! Finally!

L: You sure you wanna do this P. ;)

P: Hmmm. Ya, I want to analyse his driving.

V: Analyse, it seems! Ready to go! Start Music!

P: Wear your seat belts!

L: Here we go!

00:15 Hrs – Crash Boom Bang! @ some bridge 5 mins after some place 3 mins after some toll gate after Krishnagiri on Blr-Chn Highway

P: Stop! Brake!

L: Brake!

V: (silence) (braking) (praying)

P: Brake!

CRASH!

L: Shit! That stupid chicken truck!

P: Shit!

V: (silence)

P: I better drive V.

V: Let me just get off this bridge!

01:08 Hrs – Divorce speed & stay married! @ some place on Blr-Chn highway

V: It’s real annoying to see these stupid safety road signs after a crash!

P: Ha ha ha. Dont worry V.! Shit happens!

V: So whats you analysis on my driving P.

P: You drove too fast without knowing how much brakes the car would do! You were going faster than me!

L: Ya but that Chicken Truck could have cut in even when you were going at 100, P. It’s just a question of bad timing for V. I think!

02:45 Hrs – Waste of Parking Space @ V’s home in Chennai

V Mom: (in ok Malayalam) Go bring the car and park it inside! Why have u parked it so far away! Lots of looting going on around this area!

V: (in terrible Malayalam) na... thats ok Amma. I am sure that apartment's watchman will take care of the car.

P: (in Guntur Telugu) Silence... Namaste!

V Mom: (in English) you really should bring the car in. I think its very unsafe outside

V: not to worry amma! Am sure it will be safe. Lets go sleep!

V Mom: Hmmm. Good Night (sniles)

V Dad: Good night

V: Good night

P: er... Good Night!

08:30 Hrs – No Beach! @ V’s home in Chennai

V: Hey P. Wake up man! Its 8:30 we have to be there by 10. Wake Up!

P: Weren't we supposed to go to the beach at 7?

V: We were but as you can see we overslept! so just get up and get ready quick! We can't end up missing G's engagement after all the shit we have gone through! We have to pick up L. from his uncle's place as well!

P: Wokay wokay! Done!

10:00-12:00 Hrs – They are singing a duet @ G's engagment venue, Hotel Matsya, T.Nagar

P: Is this the place?

L: It looks like it!

V: Am sure it is! check the names!

P: Aah there he is!

L: What are they upto? I guess the engagement is over!

V: I think they are about to sing!

P: Thats what they do in an engagement?!?

V: How does it matter? Lets just wait for the food, eat and leave!

V,P,L: (in chorus) Hey Congrats G. Thanks and great food man!

G: Thanks for coming guys! Do drive back safely!

V: Hey P., we should send G. the bill u know!

13:30 Hrs – There goes P's record @ Bangalore highway, Sriperumbudur

CRASH!

P: Where did that truck come from?

V: (smiling)

P: Shit, how did I not see that?

V: (smiling) I am kinda relieved now Papi!

P: F#@$*R

14:30-16:30 Hrs – Random conversations

Are you a virgin? Aren't you disappointed with all the Marks/CG Race? Didn't you think IITians would be smarter/more intelligent? Whats your ultimate aim in life? Do you want to have coffee? Lets get some tea! What is the best way to evaluate an MBA student? Lets take the elevated highway!

17:00 Hrs – Choi gets a heart attack @ Silk Board

P: Oye, what happened to the car man?

V: Huh?

P: Its not starting, push it to the side of the road and lets call the service!

V: you think they will come on a sunday?

P: They better!

Service came on a Sunday!

19:30 Hrs - Returned to IIMB campus!